When I was a senior in college, I had the great privilege of acting as our club baseball team’s president. Since there was no active faculty involved with the team, that meant that I was also the coach. Between the vice president and myself, we petitioned for money from the school, recruited people to sign up, ran practices, paid for regular expenses, and coached games. It was an incredible experience with incredible results. We went 13-2 in the regular season, good enough to win our division, then went 3-1 in the regional tournament, earning a berth to the Club Baseball World Series in Pennsylvania–this from a team that had went 0-7 and 6-4 in the previous two years! Even though we didn’t play well in the World Series, it was a storybook end to my baseball career and one of the fondest memories I will ever have.

At the time, I was very proud of myself. Naturally, I was proud of the whole team, but I really did work hard to make us successful. While the vice president definitely helped, I felt that it was my ambition, persistence, and creativity that fueled the team. The budget I submitted was detailed and professional (which led to us receiving the third highest budget of any team, a huge increase from the year before), I got people to actually come to practice twice a week (more than six once a week was a success in previous years), found an abandoned baseball field near the school and worked to clean it up for practices (the previous two years we practiced on a community soccer field), convinced the varsity baseball coach to let us use the school’s batting cages on their off day (restoring a relationship that been ruined years before by a previous club president), and didn’t stop recruiting until the final week of roster closures (the week we picked up our eventual RF and #2 hitter, and a defunct varsity pitcher). At the time, as I said, I was proud of myself.

That was until I checked in with the team the year after I left. When I left, they were set up to repeat and had real reason to think that they would be even more successful. In essence, they lost me, another senior who only played in the final weekend, and our number 3 pitcher. They still had their top two pitchers (one was probably the best pitcher in the division, and the other guy finished with an ERA under 1.00 the year before), still had their entire lineup save the #3 hitter, and had an entire class of new freshmen coming in. So what happened? Did they repeat and go to the World Series? No. They finished below .500, had to forfeit a number of games, missed the playoffs entirely.

When I lamented about this to a friend, they thought I was bragging, as if to say, “Look how much they needed me. They couldn’t do anything without me.” That wasn’t my first thought. When I saw the immediate drop in results with almost no loss in talent, I realized that I had actually failed them in setting up the team for the long run.

I think a problem we all have when we are passionate about something and want to make it successful is an “I can do it” attitude. What do I mean by this? I’m not talking about initiative or confidence in oneself; this sort of “I can do it” attitude is something all leaders need. Rather, I’m talking about the sort of “I can do it” attitude that does not include others in the building process, in a sense saying “If I don’t do it, it won’t get done right.” Sometimes it is an issue of control and lack of trust in others, other times it is simply a failure to identify talents in others and offer them opportunities to succeed even if “I can do it” better. I think my attitude was somewhere in between the two.

For me, this was my last shot at playing baseball and I made it my highest priority. Was I really going to take chances with guys who weren’t as passionate?

And it was successful…

For one year. What I did was make sure everything was done right; what I failed to do was empower anyone else to care to do it that way once I was gone.

As friars, it can be very tempting to lead our ministries in this way. And who can blame us? In many cases, we’re the most capable of doing any job around the parish: we’re passionate about our ministry and want it to do well, are highly trained with graduate degrees and many years of preparation, and are definitely the most responsible if something were to go wrong. “If I can do it, why wouldn’t I? It is my job.” Add a generally likable personality to the mix, and there’s almost a guarantee for success.

But what happens when a) that specific friar is transferred to a new fraternity, b) a parishioner moves to another church not run by an “I can do it” priest, or God forbid, c) we have to turn the ministry back over to the diocese because we can no longer staff it? If all we have ever done is lead from the top, making all of the decisions and making sure everything is done perfectly, if all we have ever done has been to lead with an “I can do it” (so no one else has to) attitude, then the people we serve will never know that they can do it too. And they can.

I admire our friars who do this so well, leading with the people they serve as the people they serve, empowering them to take an active part in leadership. Because, when you think about it, we are shepherds, not CEOs. We are not owners or kings, we are guides and supporters. The Church does not belong to us nor does it require us to function properly. It belongs to the people of God, and it is our role to make sure they are passionate about and capable of taking up their own cross, not to make sure it is successful at all costs.

Coaching baseball for one year in college will no doubt be one of my fondest memories for the rest of my life because of our success, but it will also be one of the most important memories for me in effective leadership. If all we want is short-term gains, do it ourselves; if we want to make something lasting and worthwhile, we have to build people up and empower them to lead it with us. Coaching that year taught me that “I can do it” can certainly lead to success, but the sort of success I really desire can only be won with an attitude of “we can do it!”

This week’s question may sound like a simple one to answer, but can actually be a difficult question for friars: Are we allowed to own pets? 

 

With school now in full swing, the past two weeks have been busy, to say the least! I’m working on two reflections that I hope to get out soon, as well as two videos outside of the “Ask Br. Casey” segment, so check back soon for more to come!

Elementary School Rock Star

Even though we arrived in D.C. from our road trip only five days ago, it seems like ancient history at this point. What a week it’s been! After a day of rest (and laundry!) I packed up what I needed and headed for my summer assignment: Triangle, VA. I was excited to get started and didn’t want to waste any time. They certainly didn’t waste any time with me either…

My first day was a half day, a nice way to ease into the summer. I helped Fr. Kevin pick up his broken down truck, met some people at the office, and found my way around the place.

My second day was not a half day.

Starting with mass at 8:45am, I ended up being on my feet until almost 9:30pm. Between the elementary school, ministry group meetings, and planning/teaching my first “How to Read the Bible” class (we had 28 people the first night), it was a full day. I did stop for two hours to sign up for a gym and work out, I took some time to eat lunch and dinner, and truth be told, I took a 15 minute nap. Outside of that, though, I can honestly say that I was being productive the whole day!

Funnily enough, I happened to talk to my mom after it all and her reaction was perfect: “Well think of it this way. It’s only for eight weeks, so enjoy what you can but know that it won’t be that long.” I had to laugh. “What are you talking about? This is what I’ve been waiting for. Through all the workshops, classes, seminars, days of recollections, and “formation of my first couple of years, I finally get to do what inspired me to be a friar in the first place, and what I’ll be doing for the rest of my life as a friar. I’m sad that it’s only eight weeks!” The whole day was wonderful, and while the two days following were a bit lighter, they were filled with new experiences and high energy ministry.

The highlight so far has been working at the elementary school attached to the parish. These kids are awesome. And given that it’s the end of the year and I wear a habit, I’m free to knock on any door at any time of the day and interrupt class to have some fun. I’ve done show and tell, answered questions, taught them about the friars, and in one english class, taught them how “Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo” is a real sentence. I’m not sure that they believed me. On Wednesday I got to see their school play, “Disney’s Mulan,” today I was a part of their final school mass of the year in which the 8th graders passed on the “light of leadership” to the 7th graders (very touching moment), and spent a couple of hours playing soccer, keep away, four square, and learning gymnastics at recess.

Which brings me to the title of the post: I realized today that it took no time at all to become an absolute rock star. All day long students were yelling “BROTHER CASEY,” coming to give me hugs, wanting to tell me all about their artwork or where they were going over the summer, and generally just being giddy in my presence. And do you know what I say? It’s about time. Only 10-20 years late, elementary school kids finally think I’m cool. High fives all around.

And while most of what I want to share is just a superficial, fun reflection on the week, I’m realizing quickly that there could be a deeper to this small experience. As friars, especially ones with a lot of energy and a willingness to serve, it’s easy to become real “rock stars” at a parish. Given the poor experiences so many have had with rigid and un-pastoral priests in the past, showing a little respect, a good sense of humor, and halfway decent preaching is enough to really excite people. In my brief travels around the province, I see it in one place after another: “Father X is amazingI We love him so much. He’s so much better than the guy at the other parish. We are so blessed to have a priest like him!” In so many of our places, we are blessed with parishioners that support and even adore us in what we do, even if what we do is not all that special (like walking into a 5th grade classroom in a habit. I have done nothing but show up to deserve this rock star status!)

And here’s where we need to be attentive: while we love that our parishioners are thrilled to have us there to serve them, it is very easy to take our newfound rock star status too seriously and actually think that we more special than we actually are. There is nothing wrong with being charismatic, hard-working, and self-sacrificing in a way that people want to shower us with praise. Don’t get me wrong. Look at John Paul II and Francis. The affect they shared with others in such an open and unrestrained is a wonderful gift, and it’s no wonder that they are so beloved worldwide. Following their example is not a bad thing. The issue for us, then, is how we deal with whatever praise we receive. Do we morph into an inward-focusing, self-involved diva with an inflated sense of self? Or do we remain humble in our praise, thriving on people’s affirmations but remaining a servant of God and God’s people? My guess is that it’s a tough line to toe. How could it not? Everyone loves affirmation and to feel that we’re important. Think about having a job in which, for better or for worse, you do something that the majority of people can’t or is not allowed to do, you are in high demand, and people love you for it. Left unchecked, that’s a recipe for an enlarged ego if you ask me.

Luckily, that’s why we have the fraternity. Not only do I have excellent examples of rock star priests that are all things for all people, men that show me how to struggle to remain humble amidst praise, I have the brothers that will always be there to serve some humble pie when I need it. Sure, the 5th graders may think I’m the coolest guy in the whole world, but my brothers at home know that I’m an unpleasant person in the mornings and that I can be kind of a slob, and they’re going to be there to remind me when I forget. For this reason, I don’t know if I will ever reach true rock star status in the places I serve like some of my brothers, but as long as I have brothers around showing me the way (and willing to hold up the mirror when I need to see the true “me”), being a  “lesser brother”  will always be more important to me than being a rock star.

Staying Classy in San Diego

Greetings from San Diego! It was a long journey yesterday, but I am safe and sound at Old Mission San Luis Rey with Edgardo Jara, ofm.

The view was breathtaking...

The view was breathtaking…

My trip started at 7:30am yesterday with a drive to the train station, a quick ride to the satellite area, a shuttle to the airport. I was quickly a few miles in the air, and I stayed there for almost six hours! While a bit uncomfortable, the view was absolutely breathtaking. Out my window I saw great plains, snowy mountains, and endless desert. (Seriously though. ENDLESS. It was then, as it took two hours of flying to get past it all, that I realized it was going to take a long time to drive it next week.) It is an incredible country that I can’t wait to explore!

 

Two Franciscan friars in real life!

Two Franciscan friars in real life!

Once we landed, I had one priority: food. Having eaten at 6:30am EST, and with only a bag of crackers and peanuts on the plane, by 1:00 PT I was a bit famished. Edgardo picked me up and we headed to Balboa Park, a nice outdoor area of San Diego with walking trails, museums, art galleries, entertainment, and restaurants. (The meal was a bit pedestrian so no use sharing it here, but get ready for some food pictures on this trip! I know we’re definitely getting some BBQ in Texas and Jambalaya in New Orleans!)

 

The University of San Diego is a remnant of a long forgotten "mission" world.

The University of San Diego is a remnant of a long forgotten “mission” world.

By then, I was much less irritable, and it was time to do some exploring. Unlike DC where most of the museums are free, San Diego felt a need to charge $18 to see everything… so we didn’t. But no matter, we were in San Diego: the city itself is a spectacle. Walking around without a plan or a care for a few hours was wonderful. We saw Balboa Park and University of San Diego (both of which were having graduations), and just enjoyed the beautiful weather.

From there, it was off to dinner with a few of Edgardo’s friends. Again, I don’t have any pictures to share, but man… it was delicious. A going away present to Edgardo, his two friends served us a feast, including the best fish tacos I’ve ever had. After dinner, we took a much needed walk around the city, which ended up turning into more food: dessert! (Seeing a theme with my travel posts?

Anyway, by this time it was about 9:00 pm, which doesn’t sound late, but I had technically been up since 3:00am PT, and I was dead tired. With a 45 minute drive back to Old Mission San Luis Rey ahead of us, we called it a night on our first day.

We found Junipero Serra, soon to be Saint!

We found Junipero Serra, soon to be Saint!

Unfortunately, even though my body was incredibly tired from the day’s happenings (a bit much for an introvert to be around people non-stop for about 15 hours nonstop), it wasn’t fooled by the clock this morning. At 2:11am, I woke up, ready to go this morning, after only three hours of sleep. Woo hoo! Luckily I was able to get back to sleep for a few hours, but it’s going to make for a long day today!

As far as the trip goes, we’re not planning on leaving San Diego until Tuesday, so we’re here until then. That doesn’t mean the posts will halt till then. Today, I’m going to get a tour of the Old Mission San Luis Rey from Lalo and probably go on a hike, tomorrow we’re planning on celebrating my birthday with a trip to Los Angeles, and Monday, well, who knows what we’ll do, but I’m sure it will be interesting. Check back with us each day and be sure to comment or post questions for us to answer on video.

Which brings me to this final gem: my first video. It’s incredibly amateur and a bit shaky at times, but we all have to start somewhere, right? I hope you enjoy the new medium, and feel free to offer as much advice/critique as you want! I’m learning as I go along and could use all the help I can get! Until tomorrow, you stay classy San Diego!

(If you’re reading this post from your email, be sure to click here to see the video. Apparently it doesn’t show up in emails.)

Two friars, 3123 miles, 7 friaries, 5 Franciscan provinces, and 0 idea how it's going to work!

Two friars, 3123 miles, 7 friaries, 5 Franciscan provinces, and 0 idea how it’s going to work!

It’s announcement time, and some of you guessed it! Road trip! One week from today, I’ll be on a plane to San Diego to meet my classmate, Edgardo “Lalo” Jara, OFM, and to drive him and his stuff all the way back to D.C.

Let’s take a step back, shall we? Lalo and I are from the same province and started our lives as friars the same day at the same place. We lived together for two years, postulancy in Delaware and novitiate in Wisconsin. But at the end of novitiate, because Catholic University would not accept his credits from his school in Costa Rica, Lalo was separated from the rest of our class: Lalo moved to San Diego to study at the Franciscan School of Theology while the rest of us moved to Washington, D.C. to study at Catholic University. Now, having finished his degree, it’s time for him to come home.

Edgardo and I lived together during postulancy and novitiate before he moved to California for studies

Edgardo and I lived together during postulancy and novitiate before he moved to California for studies

Why not just ship his stuff, you ask? We thought of that. Actually, that’s how he got everything there in the first place. We even shipped a car with the stuff he would need. And wouldn’t you know it? It’s much cheaper to drive a car across the country, even accounting for food for two people, than it is to ship it. “Franciscan poverty” was obviously not our only reason, though. It’s an adventure of a lifetime. In my case, with the exception of one year in Wisconsin, four days in Colorado, and three days in Los Angeles, I have never been off of the East Coast. I think I agreed to it before he even finished asking me. All I heard was “Adventure” when he asked me. “ROAD TRIP! WOO!”(The ironic thing was that he asked me the same day I returned from my vacation trip of 1500 miles and was already thinking to myself, “I want to go on a road trip. Great timing!)

So what’s the plan? Well, as a J on the Myers Briggs, I have had an itinerary set for months, including stops, food, and excursions. Because I live in a world that does not always go according to plan, however, I had to make major revisions not one hour ago when Lalo emailed to say that his immigration meeting was set for the middle of our planned trip. Looks like we’ll have to push everything back three days and shorten one leg. Bah! No matter. The show will go on… just a bit later and reorganized.

And what a show it will be. To cut down costs, and frankly, because it’s awesome to be a part of a worldwide fraternity, we will be staying each night at a different friary in a different Franciscan Province: Phoenix (Santa Barbara), Roswell, NM (Our Lady of Guadalupe), San Antonio (Sacred Heart), New Orleans (St. John the Baptist), and finally Greenville, SC (Holy Name), my province) before heading home to D.C. Six days, 3123 miles, seven total friaries, five Franciscans provinces, and at this point, zero idea how it’s going to work!

Camcorder, tripod, microphone, and DSLR (not pictured). All we need now is someone who knows how to use them!

Brand new camcorder, tripod, microphone, and DSLR (not pictured). All we need now is someone who knows how to use them!

But do you want to know the best part?? You all get to go along the trip with us! That’s right. Besides the regular blog posts I’ll be writing each day to detail our trip, I am now the proud owner of a new video camera and consumer video editing equipment. Each day we hope to post not only picture of our travels but mini video clips so that you can take the journey with us. But wait, there’s more! Since Lalo and I plan to film the whole trip, and because, let’s be honest, it’s the type of trip that almost no one can say they’ve been on (have you ever been to seven friaries in seven cities in seven days?), I plan to edit all the material into a documentary style movie. Picture it now: two young friars, eager to restart their lives together as brothers and ministers, find each other as they’re getting lost in the beauty of the American landscape and the richness of Franciscan ministry. Sundance here we come! (Seriously though, neither of us knowns a thing about video editing or writing a movie, so let us know what you would watch. How long? What would you want to see? What should we avoid? What should we see in each place?)

All in all, I couldn’t be more excited. Sure, the plan has already failed us and we haven’t even started. But if being forced to stay an extra three days in sunny, beautiful San Diego is the considered a plan gone wrong, I think I’ll survive. We’re liable to have many more things go in ways we don’t expect, but who can really complain: I’ll be with my classmate, driving across a beautiful country, visiting friars. I’ll take it!

Be sure to check back each day starting May 22 to follow us on our trip. If you have any suggestions, be sure to comment here on the blog or tweet me @friarcasey. We’ll be taking requests, answering questions, and living the dream, so share this with everyone you know!

 

UPDATE: To read all posts related to the road trip, click here. You will need to start at the bottom and work up to get them in chronological order.