More of the Same

With the exception of the full-year hiatus when I wasn’t allowed to write during novitiate, these past two weeks have been the longest period of time without posting something. For all my avid readers out there, and by avid readers I mean my parents, I apologize for leaving you hanging for so long. One of the goals of the blog when I set out was to post regularly, but it just wasn’t happening last week.

For starters, school is really kicking up right now. I had a 12-page paper due on the 10th, a 15-page paper due this Wednesday, another 8-page paper due next Friday. That’s not to mention all of the other 3-page reflections papers, the regular reading assignments, and of course, the five exams or papers I will have in just two weeks. But nobody wants to hear my sob stories…

In reality, the bigger issue in not writing lately is that, frankly, life has been “more of the same” for the past couple of weeks. It’s been great, don’t get me wrong. I’ve enjoyed myself and trust me when I say that I’m not bored. But when I was trying to think about something to share, there was nothing that I had not already shared in some other fashion before.

Three Sundays in a row I have played in a softball league with the same diocesan seminarians as I mentioned in Death, Pickaxes, and Home Videos: A Franciscan Feast. I’m happy to report that we have won all of our games so far and will hopefully be playing in the playoffs next week!

I continue to teach English at the parish next door as I mentioned in The View From the Periphery, and that is still the most exhausting yet fulfilling thing I do. Getting to know the people a little better over the past few months has really been great, and seeing their fortitude and progress in such a difficult situation is inspiring.

On Thursday our Vicar Provincial (vice president of the province) visited the house last Thursday for us to renew our vows for another year, as I wrote about in Renewal of Vows. While the one receiving my vows, the two witnesses, and the guardian of the house were all different, the words I spoke and the commitment I made are the same: I wish to live the life of a friar for another year. Given that it’s something that I’ve done now twice and that I plan on living this life until I die, there was just something very pedestrian about it and not worth sharing.

On Friday, we had our monthly fraternal gathering, as in Don’t Fear Fraternity. This month we celebrated the birthday of four of our guys with a “Game Show” theme, complete with the Price is Right, Jeopardy, and Charades. I took video of almost everyone’s acting ability, but unfortunately promised not to share outside of the house. Trust me when I say that “Airport security” and “Police Officer” were pretty funny though.

And lastly, last night was the third edition of the Capuchin Cafe, the holy hour and concert I mentioned in Frat Party with Hillbilly Thomists. It was another successful evening had by all, and arguably even better than the first: lay people and diocesan seminarians replaced the Dominicans, and one girl played Gotye’s “Somebody That I Used to Know” and Lorde’s “Royals” on a ukulele. She was pretty dang awesome.

All in all, the past few weeks have been an experience of the familiar, and that’s not a bad thing. Much of life is simply the same situations we’ve faced before; the difference is that we have changed and thus experience it in a new way (if you’re having deja vu, this, too I have blogged about!) There’s nothing wrong with this. It’s not boring. It’s not monotonous. It’s not even remotely repetitive. Sometimes experiencing what’s familiar, especially when it’s good and fulfilling, is a welcome rest from the ever-changing unpredictable world out there and a time to simply have the confidence that everything is going to be great: I’ve done it once, I can do it again. In these cases, I guess I just have to count my blesses and hope for a  little more of the same!

 1 Comment

 Posted on April 19, 2015 by

 Formation, Fraternity, Post-Novitiate

     , , , , ,

An Old Path Made New

I was so impressed by these men, from left to right: Br. Basil, Fr. Frank, Ben, Todd, Crawford, Gilbert, Ken, Jim, Nick, and Deacon

I was so impressed by these men, from left to right: Br. Basil, Fr. Frank, Ben, Todd, Crawford, Gilbert, Ken, Jim, Nick, and Dn Alan

This weekend I was offered a tremendous opportunity. While Washington, D.C. was recording its coldest temperature in over 100 years and amassing over 6.5 inches of snow, I was asked to travel to sunny Florida to bask in he spring-like weather. For what? Who cares! I was going to say yes to anything! Luckily for me it was for a great event: a vocation discernment retreat for new candidates.

Taking place at our retirement home in St. Petersburg, some, including myself, had some reservations with the concept. Is this really the image we want to use to introduce men to the order? Are a bunch of old guys really the best sell for a group of excited candidates?

Turns out it was the perfect place to be. These men, both young and old, could not have been more impressive, and the rapport they shared could not have been better. The weekend was an unforgettable experience of bridging the future and “past” of the Order, mutually inspiring each other with new life. The accomplishments of the retirees grounded the candidates’ idealism and the energy of the new men brought life and joy to an otherwise quiet house.

The weekend started Friday night with us doing what we do best: eating and socializing. To my great enjoyment, the candidates and retired friars had no problem hitting it off. The new men were eager to hear about the friars and the friars were overjoyed at the opportunity to entertain visitors. Following dinner, the group was formally introduced as we prayed Evening Prayer together.

The first session was led by Paul Santoro, OFM, and myself, and was entitled, “What does it mean to be a friar today?” All we could say is that there is simply no blueprint for who and what a friar should be. Even though there are specific aspects of our charism that guide us (prayer, fraternity, minority, and mission) and we spent some time sharing our experience of each, the fact of the matter is that there is no “correct” way to live them out. “it’s what you bring to this life that makes it what it is.” As the other friars began to chime in with their own diverse experiences, hopes, and visions, we found ourselves building a beautiful mosaic right before our eyes; though varied and seemingly fragmented as individuals, together we made something coherent and full of tremendous meaning.

The following morning built upon this diversity with a discussion about the mission of the friars led by two very different men: Jerome Massimino, OFM, and Kevin Mackin, OFM. While Jerome had spent most of his life in pastoral settings, staffing parishes and campus ministries, Kevin spent most of his life in academia, teaching and administrating at a high level. In almost no way did their ministries overlap; the people they served, the tasks they carried out, and the problems they faced were completely different. And yet, both men are Franciscan through and through. The juxtaposition of their lives was a wonderful witness to see.

A few of the guys with Fr. Kevin Mackin

A few of the guys with Fr. Kevin Mackin, OFM

The final talk of the weekend came after lunch Saturday and could probably have been named (and I kid you not) “Dying with Dignity as a Friar.” Given by Francis Souci, OFM, the man instrumental in building and running a skilled nursing facility for aged and infirm friars for more than 20 years, it was a powerful talk about how we are fraternity until the end. Refusing to call it “the infirmary,” he insisted that it be called and treated like any other friar, a place where men could pray and socialize with one another, affording them the dignity at the end of their lives that they had given so many others throughout their life of ministry. One might not expect a talk such as this on a discernment retreat, but I can’t tell you how important a similar experience was for me when I was discerning, to know that I would be loved and cared for even in my old age.

And really, I think that was the surprise “sell” of the weekend. Obviously, I think it was great for someone like myself to be there, to be able to field their questions from the perspective of someone currently going through the process; and it was obviously great to have the head vocation director and regional guys in full-time ministry to share from their more seasoned life with the friars. But those sorts of things are to be expected and are commonplace at our retreats. What was different about this one was being around our highly decorated brothers. These men are the ones who blazed the trail before us, made the path open for the rest of us to follow. And this did not go unnoticed by our candidates, men who are trying to find their own path to walk in this life. I know that I was touched and inspired by their life and witness.

All in all, I leave Florida elated and surprised by the happenings of the weekend. What I witnessed was life-giving. There are men before me that made my life in this Order possible, and there are men, truly fantastic men, that appear to be coming after me. Again, I find myself so affirmed in this life, and overjoyed that others feel the same way. The path of a friar is laid out before us, old and true, but there are always new ways to walk it.

 1 Comment

 Posted on February 22, 2015 by

 Discernment, Fraternity

     , , ,

Doing Lent Together

As Church, we follow the path of those gone before us. As Fraternity, we follow that path together.

As Church, we follow the path of those gone before us. As Fraternity, we help each other along the way.

It’s that time of year again. Lent is upon us. Put away the green vestments, get the ashes ready, and hide the chocolate, it’s time for some penance and conversion!

Lent is always an especially fruitful time of year for me, a season of intentionality and clarity. More than any other time, I am forced to look deep within myself, call to mind the ways that I have wavered from the right path, and do what I have to do to be ready for our Lord’s resurrection. It is a time of knowing deeply who I am in all of my gifts and failings, and remembering all that Jesus did/does for me (and you!)

That being said, I don’t think I have to tell you that it is also a time of great struggle, proving the adage “no pain, no gain” to be right. Fasting is the worst. Rearranging my schedule is inconvenient. Realizing that I’m not perfect, that there are times in which I am actually bad, is the last thing I want to spend time thinking about. Although I can look back and clearly see how much I have benefited from acts of penance and conversion throughout the years (from somewhat trivial things like not eating candy and refraining from “That’s what she said” jokes to praying more and developing a habit of using my resources for others) they were dreadfully painful at the beginning. Nobody likes change. It’s even harder when what’s bad for us is easy, comfortable, and feels so so good.

So why do we so often do it alone? Why do we go down the path of conversion without a guide or partner every step of the way? When you ask the majority of people what they’re doing for Lent, you’re likely to get, “Oh, I’m going to pray more,” “I’m going to donate more to charity,” “I’m going to fast on Fridays.” I’m going to do something. For most people, including myself before entering religious life, Lent was a private devotion and a personal conversion. Others at times knew what I was doing, but it was ultimately my cross to bear, no one else’s.

There are two things I want to say about this.

The first is that, as Church, we need to support one another in our conversions. As Christians, we walk together, not alone, following the path of those who have gone before us and benefiting from two thousand years of faithful living. We don’t have to reinvent the wheel; the Church has shown what is spiritually life-giving. Prayer. Fasting. Almsgiving. But these things are not to be done solely in private devotion and personal conversion. No, penance and conversion are public and communal acts that build up the community through mutual support, and evangelize others to follow the path with us. Think about how powerful of a witness it is to see someone vulnerable enough to share the ways in which s/he needs to be converted and asking the community for help, and how encouraging it must look to an outsider to see the whole community answer the call for one another.

Putting ashes on our forehead is not a private devotion but a public sign of our need for conversion.

Putting ashes on our forehead is not a private devotion but a public sign of our need for conversion.

And yet, being Church is more than simply joining an support group, as important as support may be. It is uniting in word and deed with other people of faith around a common mission. When this happens, when we truly become Church, we begin to adopt a communal identity, a “we” in belief and action. This is a tremendous step. When it happens, we no longer look simply at the ways in which “I” have sinned, but now in the ways that “we” have sinned. We begin to realize that the Church is in need of conversion and that we are all a part of that.

What does this look like? Well, there are at least three levels to look at. The first and most important is the family, the principle building block of the Church. Coming together as a household, the family must look at its life together and determine the ways in which the culture of the house could better promote the coming our Lord. Maybe there is a weekly prayer night. Maybe money is saved by not going out to eat as much and donated to a charity. From there, one looks to the worshiping community. Is there something special the community can do together throughout the season, an additional prayer service or community service day? Lastly, one looks to the Church/society as a whole. Have we, directly or indirectly, supported injustice in our world? Maybe there is something we need to change in the way we treat certain people or issues, in the way we act and are perceived publicly.

What about me, you ask? What I am doing that I need support from the community and how am I doing Lent together with others?

Personally, I hope to do three things that will touch on a few of my biggest struggles. The first is to read scripture for 15-20 minutes each day, in additional to the thirty minutes of silent prayer I have [mostly] kept since Advent. The Word of God is always right there to be proclaimed and heard, but I don’t sit with it enough. The second is to give of myself more freely to the poor and to continue to grow in my comfort with and respect for those who are homeless. The third is my fast, but it doesn’t have anything to do with food. As I have mentioned before, taking myself off the dating scene has helped me to focus less on attractiveness when entering into a relationship, shaking off the natural tendency to see women as objects. This is by no means a completed process, however, and I want to take this time to be intentional about how seriously I take the vow of chastity.

Communally, it is much more difficult to find specific things that apply to each member of the house, especially when there are twenty guys living together, but we also agreed on three things: 1) On Wednesdays and Fridays we will have soup and bread for dinner, no dessert, 2) At Evening Prayer on those days, we will read one station of the cross and reflect on it together, and 3) The house will match any donations we make out of our stipends for the CRS rice bowl. For me, these things are critically important to the life of the house. Sure, they may not cause the greatest conversion in any one of us, but there is just something so important about recognizing that we are in this together and making an effort to show it. We’re all busy people and we all have our own preferences when it comes to lifestyle, but it speaks volumes to me that we can do something with and for each other.

In this way, I think religious life is a powerful witness to the rest of the Church and the rest of the world, that we are something greater than our individual identity, that there is something life-giving about giving up personal autonomy for the sake of the group. And in a way, isn’t that what Lent is all about? Giving up what we don’t need to build up the Kingdom of God. That sounds good to me. Would you like to do it together?

 1 Comment

 Posted on February 17, 2015 by

 Fraternity, Prayer

     , , , , , , , ,

Quick Catch-up

Despite having the whole weekend free (other than cleaning up Christmas decorations and prepare for school today), I somehow managed to not write a single word on two different posts I’ve been thinking about. “Eh, I’ll have time tomorrow,” I said. Unfortunately, tomorrow ran out today: school’s back in session and there goes my free time once again! It’s back to fifteen credits of theology, weekly meetings, books, papers, assignments, and everything else that goes with being a student friar.

With that said, it would be a shame to completely skip over the happenings of the last few weeks, and so I present you the Reader’s Digest version of my life:

Intersession

As in years past, all of the friars in formation (minus the novices in Wisconsin) get together in January for a week-long workshop and fraternal time together. This year we were privileged to have Dr. Pauline Albert for a presentation entitled “21st Century Leadership: Making Better Social Worlds through Learning from Francis and Clare of Assisi.” A former executive at Intel for many years, Dr. Albert brought a wonderful mix of successful worldly leadership with a deep love for the Franciscan charism. Over four days, she helped us lay a Franciscan foundation for our own leadership, identifying values and leadership models in the way of Francis and Clare. It’s safe to say that the workshop could have lasted twice the time and that I will be processing much of her material for quite a while.

And yet, as profession and useful as the programming of the workshop was, the fraternal time together is something that I will remember for a very long time. Given that the workshop took place away from the house, guys were not able to hide in their rooms or sit in front of the t.v. If we wanted to do something, we had to look to our brothers for entertainment. And we did. After the first night of sitting around and talking (casual time together), we had a pizza party with the provincial council (a night that began with four pizzas, only to have one friar run our an hour later to get four more… friar appetites should not be underestimated), played the card game “Mafia” for over an hour with about thirteen people the next night, and as a last resort, broke into three teams to play pictionary the final night. Wow. I was in absolute stitches each and every night, that feeling where it starts to hurt in your face and stomach because you’ve been laughing so hard. I don’t think I’ve said this yet on the blog, and if I ever get around to it it will be a post of its own, but I truly believe that the way we laugh together as a fraternity is inseparable from our Franciscan charism. More on this in a bit I’m sure…

Getting out of the house

I guess I understand why, but I get a lot of questions from friends and family about the “rules” of our life. “Are you allowed to…” A lot of times they’re pretty minor, even humorous things: drink beer, go on the internet, leave the house, go on vacation, etc. For the most part, much of my life in those mundane respects are exactly the same as they were before I entered and so I forget to write about them. With that said, a major highlight of the past few weeks was going out with three of the guys in the house to watch the recent Ravens/Patriots playoff game. A Patriots fan myself and my classmate from New England decided it would be more fun to go to Buffalo Wild Wings, in the Baltimore (Ravens) area, to watch the game, and invited two of our mostly ambivalent postulants (first years) along with us. What an experience! Besides the usual delights of wings and beer, it was such an entertaining night to see the Baltimore crowd cheer, boo, and eventually cry and to spend a couple of hours out with some guys that actually like football (not a common quality among friars in our house). Go Pats! Go Fraternity!

School’s Back

So as I said to start, school is back, like it or not. I’m in five theology classes again and am looking forward to most of them. This semester I have Christology, The Gospel of John, Pastoral Theology, Patristic Theology (2nd-5th centuries of the Church), and Marriage and the Family. It’s a good blend of courses and course work, some classes have long papers and no tests while others have no papers and a few tests. Not sure what to say beyond that. Back to the books!

Hopefully with the long weekend coming up I’ll be able to reflect a little deeper and more coherently a few other topics, but until then, peace!

 1 Comment

 Posted on January 12, 2015 by

 Formation, Fraternity

     , , , , ,

Christmas With The Brothers

Although we can't always make it home to our families, there is always something happening in the fraternity! Here is our Christmas tree decorating party two weeks ago.

Although we can’t always make it home to our families, there is always something happening in the fraternity! Here is our Christmas tree/ugly sweater decorating party two weeks ago.

Being a friar is in some ways like being a waiter at a restaurant: we’re busiest in the evenings, on weekends, and during the holidays, those times when everyone else is off and with family. For most friars, it is often difficult, if not impossible, to celebrate major holidays with our families, at least on the actual date.

As men in formation, however, this is quite the opposite for us: attending class during the day, in the middle of the week, and getting every holiday off, it would not be a problem at all if we went home for every weekend and holiday. And yet, leisurely trips on weekends are generally not allowed, and almost every major holiday is celebrated here in the friary. “If your scholastic and ministerial responsibilities are over,” one might ask, “Why can’t you go home? Why aren’t you allowed to leave?”

While this is a common and understandable question for sure, it doesn’t really make sense from our perspective. I’ll put it another way. Let’s say I was married with three kids and I got a week off from my job for Christmas. “I don’t have any occupational responsibilities all week. Why do I have to stay around the house? Couldn’t I take off as soon as work is over, leave my family behind, and go to visit my friends or parents by myself?” Maybe… But its just a bit odd, isn’t it? Just because someone doesn’t have work doesn’t mean they’re free to leave their family. Such is the case with our life. While not blood related, we friars are more than a group of bachelors who live together, we are a fraternity, men who care for and are responsible for each other as brothers. To leave every weekend or to celebrate major holidays with others just wouldn’t seem fitting. This is my family and I want to be with them.

So how did we celebrate this Christmas together?

Pizza in the Rec Room

Christmas Eve began the festivities with a major break in the schedule. With less than ten guys around (due to the parish obligations of our priests), we ordered pizza and ate in the living room rather than sitting down for a formal dinner. It was casual and spontaneous, and a great time to just relax with the guys.

Lessons and Carols

About an hour after dinner, the night got even more interesting. Instead of the usual Evening prayer from the breviary, one of the student friars organized a wonderful “lessons and carols” evening prayer. Gathering in the softly lit chapel, we alternated between Christmas hymns and scripture readings, offering a prayer before moving to the next carol. As Buddy, my favorite Elf, is known to say, “The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.” That was certainly the case for me. Singing Christmas carols and coming together in prayer really got me into a prayerful spirit and ready to welcome our Lord.

“Midnight” Mass

This is page one of the twelve page music program. It's quite a parish to say the least!

This is page one of the twelve page music program. It’s quite a parish to say the least!

From there, the friars were ready for midnight mass. That is, we were all ready for 10:30 mass. And let me say: Wow. Some will remember my experience at Easter vigil last year (The Joy of Salvation); this was just like that (except without 30 baptisms and lasting almost three hours.) Spanish, Swahili, French, Bangla, English and Latin. And that was just the first song! Include the Kyrie and we sung in Greek as well.  Diverse cultures, languages, liturgical customs, musical styles all in one. Even in English, there were traditional songs, gospel spirituals, and new medleys (at least to me) to keep the congregation alive and engaged. There was a homily in Spanish, English and French, and the mass parts included parts from each language group After communion, the choir absolutely brought down the house. Think about the most powerful rendition of “O Holy Night” you’ve ever heard, change it to French, and add a talented choir and an “on fire” congregation, and you have a communion hymn that almost moved everyone to tears. And I don’t speak a word of French. When you get a group of people together that understand what’s going on–the infinite, invisible God has entered the world in a physical way in order to be with and know us–it doesn’t matter what language you’re speaking or whose customs you’re following: it’s going to move you. I left full of life, inspired by the coming of our Lord, and ready to bring that love to the whole world.

Festive Dinner

John, Tony, and I hard at work in the kitchen!

John, Tony, and I hard at work in the kitchen!

With most of our solemnly professed friars busy with ministry today, our Christmas began very casually: we prayed at 9:00am and were free to spend the day as we chose. Some decorated the dining room, some did some last minute gift wrapping and some of us, the lucky ones, slaved in the kitchen all day. It was fantastic. The two of us began preparing the food around 11 o’clock this morning (although I think he started by baking a cake at 10:00), and worked non-stop until our 4:30 dinner. First there were the appetizers: pigs in a blanket, mini quiches, and spinach croissants (all frozen), crab and shrimp meat, cheese platters, and hummus with pita chips. (Seriously, those were just the appetizers. Does it make it better that we had 18 people for dinner?) Then came the main course: stuffed pork loin, homemade pasta sauce with rigatoni, green beans tossed with almonds and caramelized onions, caprese salad and some homemade bread. But wait! For dessert there was an incredible chocolate cake with peppermint icing and gingerbread cookies, just in case dinner wasn’t enough. Combined with wine and a room full of great people, the dinner was a huge success and lasted more than an hour and a half.

White Elephant

So there was prayer, food, and fraternity. What more could we ask for? Presents, of course! Told to find something in our room we didn’t want or buy a gift worth about $10, we each brought something to exchange. Gathering around the tree, we picked numbers randomly and began the picking, stealing, and tremendous laughing. Some of the gifts were pretty nice: an assorted bag of Ghiradelli chocolates (stolen once), a scarf (stolen twice), and a $25 gift card (surprisingly not stolen!) Some gifts were mediocre: a watch no one wanted, a few old books, and some Franciscan knick-knacks. But then there were some atrociously awesome gifts: a painting of a man drunk at a bar with tiny Franciscans dancing on his head, a cell phone holder in the shape of mini red stilettos (seriously), a bird feeder carved out of a coconut, a CD of religious chants dedicated to St. Ursula entitled “11,000 Virgins” (seriously!), and for some unknown reason, four different gifts that included toothpaste or toothbrushes (a subtle hint perhaps?) The whole thing was a riot! No one was tied to any one gift or heartbroken to see it go, so everyone had a great time laughing and eventually went home with something. I got (another) reusable water bottle and a copy of Death Comes for the Archbishop, a book by Willa Cather that, ironically enough, I wrote a paper about in 11th grade but never actually read! Too funny, and a great book actually (upon seeing it one friar called out, “No way! That’s my favorite book!”)

***

All in all, my Christmas with the brothers was fantastic. Although I didn’t get a chance to be with my family over the past few days, I did get to video message them twice and check in, and now that Christmas is over ,I’ll see them in person tomorrow as the student friars are free to leave on vacation. Free until January 4, I’ll spend a few days with my parents in North Carolina, followed by a few more days visiting friends and friars in South Carolina, before returning to D.C. for a workshop with the other students.

I pray that each of you had a wonderful Christmas, and now that we have celebrated the coming our of Lord, may he live through you in all that you do! Peace and all good!

 1 Comment

 Posted on December 25, 2014 by

 Fraternity

     , , , ,

Breaking In The Habit

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.