On The Road… Again!

I'm starting to get used to living out of one of these!

It case it wasn’t apparent enough, the Postulant year has a lot of traveling: in two months, we’ve been to Camden, Philadelphia, New York City, Cincinnati, Esopus NY, and Margate City NJ, not to mention all of the daily traveling we do within an hour of our house. In keeping with this theme, we’re leaving today for a whirlwind tour of northern New Jersey and New York City in hopes of better acquainting ourselves with the ministries of Holy Name Province. Between now and Sunday night, we plan on stopping at seven different sites run by the province, ranging from suburban parishes to an innercity hotel for the mentally ill.

There’s no doubt that this will be a fast-paced trip and I unfortunately see absolutely no opportunity for posting until Monday. Check back then for some reflections and some great pictures!

 2 Comments

 Posted on October 27, 2011 by

 Postulancy, Trips

The Test Results Are In…

As if my personality could be contained by letters, numbers, and lines!

Though driving ten hours both ways in a mini-van with five other guys and then spending a week with twenty other men can be an experience in and of itself… there was a more practical agenda to our trip to Cincinnati: Inner reflection and community life. Led by Br. Tim Lamb, OFM, we spent the week taking personality tests and analyzing the results so that we could better know ourselves and our brothers. Here’s what I found out about myself:

Myers-Briggs: Of the 16 possible personality types, mine is INFJ, meaning that I’m introverted, tend to look at the big picture rather than the details, act more subjectively than objectively, and prefer a plan rather than “play it by ear.” I’m told that INFJ’s are driven by their values and take great stock in their insights, leading them to be outspoken about meaningful topics. With a strong compassion for others, IN’s are a bit more inclined to reading people than others, and are good as leading by persuasion. Combined with the emphasis on planning, INFJ’s are usually seen as visionaries that seek social change, for better or for worse (I’ve seen both Ghandi and Hitler as famous INFJ’s). My favorite description of this personality type is that of a “friendly antagonist,” something that I’m sure many of you that know me will find very entertaining.

FIRO-B: The three pairs of numbers on the bottom of the page represent my expressed and desired amounts of Inclusion, Control, and Affection. The first thing you’ll notice is that I changed my control scores to make them higher. Typical… and ironic. Like most, I have a need for affection but am very hesitant to show it, and have a high desire to be included in others’ plans, whether I have to make the first move or not.

Leadership Matrix: The final test is depicted by the zigzag line in the center. Based on four categories, Assertiveness, Sociability, Emotional Response (to change), and Readjustment (or how much outer authority is preferred), the scale ranges from Low to High based on one’s preferred leadership style, with the red line representing work and the black line representing home. The high A suggests that I like to take control, but the even higher S means that I do it in a persuasive, rather than dominating, way. I’m confortable with change, but am more willing to look to the authority of others before acting.

Though I find these results to be fairly accurate to my own perception of self, I think it’s important when taking them to remember that they’re only an outward expression, even symptom, of a much more complex inner self. To use these results as a form of categorization or even limitation of relationships would be of no service to anyone. To prevent this sort of thing from happening, it’s important that we use the results as a very basic first step in truly getting to know ourselves and our communities. The better questions might be: Why am I driven by my intuition rather than my senses? Why do I find it difficult to be in situations without a clear plan or leader? Why am I hesitant to show affection but have no problem receiving it? If we don’t move beyond the simple “what” of these results into a relationship that seeks to know “why” a person scores the way they do, we are living a superficial relationship at best, and risk limiting our relationships to boxes and easy categorizations at worst.

For us in community, the test results are in: how are we going to use them? How would Francis use them?

 1 Comment

 Posted on October 24, 2011 by

 Postulancy, Workshop

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“And The Lord Gave Me…Cousins?”

My future “cousins”

There is a friar in our province that shared with us a bit of playful advice prior to traveling to Cincinnati and meeting the other postulants: “Just remember, the guys from your own province are your brothers. The ones from the other provinces are just your cousins… you don’t have to love them as much.” Even typing here in the room, by myself, I find myself laughing out loud.

Though this friar was [mostly] kidding, this sort of statement is clearly a sentiment held historically among the provinces. Almost every American province was founded independent of one another, and because they were originally organized based on language and culture, not geography, there was little cooperation even between different friars living in the same city. Over time, each province began to develop a distinct personality, each of which was Franciscan, but each of which was unique to each other. Even today, despite losing the majority of our cultural ties, there is still a distinct philosophy to each province that is evident in the way new members are formed, which ministries are emphasized, and so on. They’re part of the same family, but probably don’t have the same parents as us.

To say that I didn’t notice these differences, even in a short week, would be a lie. After meeting 15 different guys from four other provinces and hearing about their experiences in the past two months, the friars they know, the ministries they offer, and their plans for formation, I can see very clearly a difference in culture. But to say that we are all fundamentally different, enough so to reserve for each other the title of “cousin” rather than brother, is simply nonsense. The existence of workshops like these and an inter-provincial Novitiate next year says to me that the leaders of each province think the same.

All-in-all, I found this week to be a great experience in community building. I found the differences based on province, as well as different individual personalities, to be both challenging and enriching. I met people that I’m very exited to get to know better and live with; I met people that I could not stand to be near and dread the idea of living with them. In both cases though, I had to remind myself that brotherhood is not about being best friends or hanging out with like it’s a freshman dorm: it’s about upholding one another in faith and sacrifice, mutually existing for the sake of the Gospel.

When Francis famously wrote, “And the Lord gave me brothers,” I can imagine him with great elation, overjoyed with the joy of such a gift. I can also imagine him saying it with a bit of sarcasm, wondering why his life was burdened with such annoying men all around him. I imagine he spoke from both perspectives throughout his life as a brother. In the end, though, he never said, “And the Lord gave me cousins.” They were all his brothers, as all of these men will be mine.

 5 Comments

 Posted on October 23, 2011 by

 Fraternity, Postulancy, Workshop

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Road Trip!

Yeah, it's a long one today.

So it's 5am here in Wilmington and we are packed and ready to go on our first long road trip! Hopefully arriving before dinner tonight, we'll be in Milford, Ohio until Friday afternoon for a profiling workshop. What's different about this workshop is that it is a gathering together of only OFM Franciscans in our first year. I'm excited to get to meet all the other Postulants across the country, as it is highly likely we'll be living together next year at the Novitiate.
I'm not bringing my computer with me so don't expect a post until at least Saturday! Have a great week everyone!

 2 Comments

 Posted on October 16, 2011 by

 Postulancy, Trips

A Brother, Even When Busy

As Franciscans, we sometimes have to take a break from our work to be a good brother.

It would appear that the vacation is over, and life is back to the status quo that I once knew in college. With the relaxation of this past summer fading into ancient history, and the “orientation” grace period of our postulancy long passed, we’ve been handed a full load of tasks that leave me wondering, once again, “How am I going to fit all that in just 24 hours a day?”

Along with our “normal” daily schedule of prayer three times a day, mass, and meals, our weekly schedule of ministry three days a week, Franciscan class twice, Spanish class once, and two additional trips to the Poor Clares for prayers, everything has been amped up a bit: we’ve been given additional homework assignments for class, a bit of a “I can tell you haven’t been doing your chores” reminder, our ministry sites now expect us to be regular employees, and on top of that, we have the task of finding some free time to meet with a spiritual director. Phew! Talk about a run-on schedule (and sentence!).

As a result, I’ve certainly cut back on a few things to make it all work, for better or for worse: my reading as slipped a bit (though I’m still reading the Bible every day), my room was a little messy this morning before I decided to clean it, my blogging has diminished, and my personal reflection has almost disappeared (that will change tomorrow).

All that being said, it is honestly still a great joy! If I had my choice, I’d rather have too much to do than not enough, and I think most friars would agree. There’s just too much to be done in the world to relax all the time, and I get a real sense of fulfillment from a long days work (we’ll see if I say the same thing when work actually starts cutting into my sleep time…that’s a completely different story). This was true in college when I was swamped with classes, practices, and meetings, and I’m sure it will be true for the rest of my life as a friar. When push comes to shove, our true priorities come out and we learn a lot about ourselves (and sometimes we don’t like what we see, and we reassess our priorities!)

For a lot of friars, there can be a tendency to put work above all things, even brotherhood.  I think the main reason that we have such busy schedules is just that: learning to be a good brother, even when busy. If work was the highest aspiration of Francis, he would have never sent out his brothers two by two because it meant half the work was being done. Certainly our work is important, but I think for our Postulant year, being busy is much more of a test and training of our priorities: even after a long day, how are we going to find time for our brothers? I’m loving the busy schedule, and the wonderful opportunity to be a brother, especially when busy.

 2 Comments

 Posted on October 12, 2011 by

 Fraternity, Postulancy

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Breaking In The Habit

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