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Monthly Archives: August 2011

First Workshop: “Proclaiming the Word”

31 Aug

The Word of God must be "proclaimed"

“Faith grows when it is well expressed in celebration. Good celebrations foster and nourish faith. Poor celebrations may weaken and destroy faith” (Music in Catholic Worship: 6; 1983). Nothing could be more applicable to many Catholics! When the priest artfully connects the lessons into an engaging homily and the music is familiar yet inspiring, the congregation leaves the church with a rejuvenated faith and a great joy; when the homily is difficult to follow, and the music is just coordinated noise, the congregation leaves thinking, “I didn’t get anything out of Mass today.”

Often, though, we forget to focus attention on one of the most important aspects of the mass: the proclamation of God’s word in the readings. The Second Vatican council asserted that, “He [Christ] is present in his word since it is he himself who speaks when the holy scriptures are read in Church” (Sacrosanctum Concilium, 7). Think about that for a second. Because Jesus is the “Word made flesh,” when we listen to the readings at mass, we are not merely hearing stories or learning about God, we are in the true presence of our Lord.

Which brings me to the point of our workshop this week: what does it mean to, and more importantly, how do we, “proclaim” the word? When we think about what we’re really doing, bringing the real presence of Jesus to the congregation, it’s an incredibly important ministry to take up and it requires a lot more work than simply dressing nice and reading clearly! Here’s what Gary Maciag, OFM, has been teaching us this week:

Prepare, prepare, prepare. One of the things has been stressed this week is that preparing takes much more than just a glance at the reading before mass. Besides being audible and clear (kind of assumed, if you ask me), the lector has to offer an intelligent reading of the text. Without knowing the context in which the author was writing, the original audience, the genre, and ultimately the purpose of the text, the lector is not proclaiming, they are simply reading. Just as a teacher having no understanding of the material reads directly from the textbook, the Word is not captured by the congregation when the lector doesn’t know what they are proclaiming.

Let your own understanding of the text speak. Often we here statements like, “I’m letting the Holy Spirit work through me,” or “I’m trying to be an empty vessel for God to use.” There is certainly some truth in this, but it needs revision. God doesn’t want a neutral, hallowed vacuum of a soul to work through. We have been given unique gifts, and thus are able to experience God in a number of different spiritualities: Let this come out! Just as two different actors can play the same role, allowing their subtle emphases to develop the character in different ways, so too should the lector. The purpose is of course to let the Word of God speak through us, but let is speak through your specific understanding of him. A bland, unbiased reading doesn’t let the Word speak: it hides it, and frankly, bores the congregation. A dramatic, over-the-top monologue suffocates the Word because the reader draws all attention to him or herself, and the church is turned into a theatre. A good lector will take this ministry very seriously, and find that perfect balance.

To say that the week has been a great bundle of joy would be a stretch: part of preparation is practicing over and over, humbly accepting relentless critique in order to obtain an ideal. But that’s okay. The difference between a good reader and a bad reader makes a big difference; proclaiming the word of God is a critical part of the life of a celebration. Important things like this are certainly worth suffering a bit for.

 

 
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Posted by on August 31, 2011 in Postulancy, Workshop

 

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Meet My Classmates

29 Aug

From left to right, Sergio, Dennis, Edgardo, Ramon, and Me

One of the great things about the formation process is that no one has to do it alone. As I move on from place to place, going from Postulancy to Novitiate to Post-Novitiate, the group of guys that entered at the same time as I did will do the same. There is a sense of comfort in this sort of community, and some friars describe the relationship they have with their classmates as an intimate bond.

On the other hand, there is only one year, the Postulant year, that I will be with only my classmates: the Novitiate year is inter-provincial (all of the second year students in the country come together for the year), and the Post-Novitiate takes place at Holy Name college where all students years 3-7 living together, including a large number of foreign friars wishing to study in America. Essentially, one’s immediate classmates can be a great source of strength and comfort throughout the process, but if you don’t get along with them it’s not the end of the world.

That being said, I think I lucked out with mine. Starting with the largest class in 5-6 years, each of these guys come with a true desire to be a follower of Francis, and offer a uniquely different perspective on life.

Sergio was born and raised in the New York/New Jersey area, but his parents were from Naples, Italy. He joined the Navy after high school and spent 5 years working on a Destroyer ship. After a long journey of faith, he found himself studying, then teaching philosophy, eventually connecting with the friars while getting his M.Div. from Union Theological Seminary in NYC.

Dennis is a Rhode Island native and thought about religious life at a young age. As he explored alternative options for his life in college, he became very passionate about Chemistry, and received both a Bachelors and Masters in the field. His earlier life interest in religious life didn’t go away, and as a chemistry professor over the last few years he felt called once more.

Edgardo grew up in Costa Rico, and is a native Spanish speaker. Over the years, he has studied French and English in foreign countries, began a life with the Franciscans in Mexico, taught philosophy and Catechetics at home in Costa Rico, and at one point was on a track to become a diocesan priest there. He comes to our Province because of it’s diversity in ministry.

Rounding out our world tour of Postulants, Ramon spent most of his life in the Philippines, having come to New York only 5 years ago. Since that time, he’s gotten a higher education degree in teaching and taught high school English in New York City where he was the creator and advisor of a student magazine about social justice. As you can see in the picture, he likes photography as well, which is a plus.

I feel very blessed to have a group of guys such as this, and believe that they will all have a profound effect on my faith journey.

 
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Posted by on August 29, 2011 in Fraternity, Postulancy

 

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A Glimpse of the “Finish Line”

27 Aug

Holy Name Province's mother church

Originally, interested men could show up at the door of a franciscan house, be admitted by any friar, given a habit, and sent out into the world as a follower of Francis, all in the same day. Talk about on-the-job training! With friaries accepting men immature in both faith and action, the pope at the time required Francis to organize a probationary year before new members could be fully admitted into the order, and gave only the provincial (essentially the president) the authority to accept any new members. Today, we witnessed that process as Dan Horan, OFM, and Steve DeWitt, OFM, took solemn vows and were fully accepted into the Order of Friars Minor. It was a beautiful ceremony (and due to the hurricane, a bit more intimate than expected), and a joyous occasion for these two friars who entered the order more than six years ago.

It’s hard to imagine that six years ago, these two men were in my position, postulants, young and new to the order, attending some other friars’ solemn profession. It’s kind of cool that one of the first things we do is attend this ceremony because it gives us a glimpse of the “finish line,” so to speak. Obviously one’s solemn profession is by no means the end of the story or the “happily ever after” moment, but it is certainly the moment that all of us in the formation process are looking and working towards; the purpose of our formation is to prepare ourselves for a consecrated life, and that life “officially” begins at one’s profession.

The ceremony took place at the mother church of the province, the Church of St. Francis of Assisi in Middle Manhattan. Home to one of the most beautiful chapels I’ve ever been to (don’t take my word for it, check out the pictures), it is one of two “service churches” in the province: the fifteen or so friars run nine daily masses every day (to accomodate the busy lives of New Yorkers), a morning breadline for the poor that has run since 1930, a counseling center, and a ministry list too long to mention. Because it is the province’s headquarters, it is host to many bishops, mayors and other elected officials, friars from around the world, and many other high profile people. Because of this, the friary is a bit nicer than one would expect for a Franciscan church, but the friars there would assure you that they own no more or less than any other group of friars, they are merely borrowing and maintaing the gifts given to them by the community they serve; it just turns out that the community in Manhattan is very different from the community in Camden, and their material space is a reflection of that.

A few of the pictures I took can be found here. Also, the pictures of Dan and Steve taken by Octavio Duran, OFM, will be found here in a few weeks when they are added to the province’s website.

Also, Dan has a very popular blog and podcast (just what you need, something else to check) that you should check out: datinggod.org.

 
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Posted by on August 27, 2011 in Formation, Trips

 

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First Day Trip: Camden

26 Aug

The first of many trips around the provinceAs a part of our Postulant experience, we’ll be traveling near and far to get to know the many ministries offered in Holy Name Province. Given that Camden, NJ is less than an hour from our house in Delaware, we took the opportunity on a slow Friday to visit the friars there and get to know what they do.

St. Anthony of Padua is a parish community consisting of a church, elementary school, and an HIV mission house called the Francis House. It is run by Fr. Jud Weiksnar, OFM, Fr. Hugh Macsherry, OFM, and Br. Karl Koenig, OFM. The congregation is primarily Spanish speaking, and located in an incredibly impoverished area of the state. As is the historical trend within the province, the friars took over this community some years ago after returning a healthy, affluent parish back to the diocese in order to seek out places with the most need.

In our time there today, we got a glimpse of the difficulties facing the poor of Camden, NJ, and a chance to see friars living in a wonderfully simple and loving lifestyle. There is a tendency at times to romanticize the poor for those of us who read about social justice and activism; but to see some of the dire living situations of actual human beings, there is nothing romantic about it. Through a real life struggle each and every day, it was great to see a few men willing to give of themselves so freely for the sake of the community.

Check out more pictures from this trip on my shutterfly page.

 
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Posted by on August 26, 2011 in Postulancy, Trips

 

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Far From Routine

25 Aug

Flexibility is key for our schedule!

The first week of being a Postulant has demanded a great deal of flexibility in schedule: Sunday and Tuesday we started with morning prayer followed by mass away from the friary (though none of these events took place at the same time or location), while Monday and Wednesday both took place here at the “normal” time; class/meetings took place in the morning Monday, Wednesday and today, in the afternoon Sunday, Tuesday and Wednesday, and in the evening Sunday and Tuesday; and yet on a day like today, we have a block between 11:00-5:15 with nothing to do.

Part of this is just the case of it being the first week and not wanting to overwhelm each of us with a strict schedule. We are more than grateful for that! The other part is simply the nature of the Postulant year: we’re being taught to be flexible. Though we may all like to have our neat and tidy schedules, there are exceptions to every plan, both foreseeable and unforeseeable.

The “plan” for each week consists of morning prayer, mass, breakfast, evening prayer, dinner, and night prayer almost every day. On Mondays and Fridays we will have Franciscan spirituality classes, Monday evenings will be for spanish classes, and Tuesdays, Wednesday, and Thursdays for ministry site visits. But as our schedules would indicate, there are as many exceptions with this routine as there are in the English language, and it is just as difficult for someone to remember them all. Some of the “planned exceptions” include: experts coming in to hold one to three day seminars on various topics, attending conferences in places like Cincinnati and Chicago in the middle of weeks, taking day trips around the province to familiarize ourselves with other friars, spending a week at both a Benedictine monastery and a Franciscan hermitage, and attending various one-day events, seminars, meetings, socials, and classes. Even still, we’re prepared for cancellations and additions on a daily basis.

In the end, as crazy as it sounds, it’s not a problem at all. Like I said in my earlier post A Rush To Slow Down, the purpose of this year is to form a spiritual and communal foundation that will allow each of us to live a Franciscan life and deal with all the craziness that comes with loving so freely as they do. It might be easy (or easier) to spend time with God in prayer and personal reflection when nothing is going on and there are countless free hours in the day; it is quite another to do so amidst crazy schedules, fatigue, tragedy, endless problems that need immediate action, and so on. God and self are the first two priorities cut when times get tough or we’re too busy. We must always remember though, even the night that Jesus was betrayed and arrested, he spent time in the garden praying (Mt 14:32-42); even though the expensive oil could have been sold to help the poor, Jesus tells his disciples to cherish their time with him (Jn 12:3-8). In a world that is far from routine, we must always find time for our source of strength, Christ, so that we may be a sign of His constant, unchanging love. That’s what I’m training for.

 
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Posted by on August 25, 2011 in Formation, Postulancy

 

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“Into the Woods”

23 Aug

How do we approach the unknown?

As a part of our orientation to each other, the life of a friar, and living in community, we spent the afternoon watching a broadway musical called Into the Woods, and spent the evening in conversation about its many themes. For those who are unfamiliar with the story, it is quite interesting: staring Cinderella, Little Red Riding Hood, Jack (from Jack and the Beanstalk), a wicked witch, Repunzel, and a peasant bread maker, the musical attempts to meld together an assortment of fairy tales based on their common messages. Though we may find such stories a bit silly or juvenile, some of humanity’s deepest truths can be found within them.

Stepping out of the comfort zone “into the woods” causes great changes in us. In the play, each character is forced to leave their comfortable setting and travel to the dark woods in order to fulfill some desire. At first, there are episodes of fear, excitement, mourning, and confusion as each enter an unknown, uncontrollable place. A few of the characters were unchanged and unaffected by the woods because they refused to accept the reality of the situation. The majority, however, left the woods entirely different characters; taken out of their usual setting, they were forced to face their own failings and to cooperate with strangers for the sake of survival. We find this very same concept throughout the Bible: when people are forced into the wilderness, to the unknown, they are found face to face with God. It is only in that uncontrollably setting that we are able to let go of distractions and find truth in such a beautiful way.

There is an interconnectedness about all human interaction making it impossible for any individual to be isolated or unaffected by others. Similar to the movie Crash, (my all-time favorite, go see it if you haven’t already) there is no main protagonist nor is there a central plot in which all of the characters take part. Rather, each character pursues his or her own self interests, meeting other characters doing the same thing. The realization here is that we, like the characters, are not the protagonist of every story. Every human being in the world has been developed by unique set of experiences, forming a truly individual “story” in which they are the main character. When people interact, we see not one linear set of events developing an understandable plot, complete with the “good” characters and the “bad” characters, but rather a complex web of events in which we play different roles to different people, critically altering the plot of each individual’s life. Two things can be learned from this: 1) Our actions, no matter how small to us, may have profound effect on another person’s story, and 2) we do not enter the scene from the same place and so we will not experience it in the same way. When we approach communal life, or any social setting, in this way, we are more likely to try to understand our neighbor better and treat everyone we meet as brother and sister.

Our desires will never end if they are not focused correctly. The play opens with each character singing about their deepest wishes. Statements begin with, “If only I had ____…” or “I would trade anything for ____,” varying from a child, to wealth, to beauty. Each character believes that this ONE this, just this one, will bring them happiness. To the surprise of all, at the end of Act One each character actually obtains their deepest wish and they end by singing about living “happily ever after.” Unsurprisingly, Act Two begins just as the first did: each character is no longer satisfied by their fulfilled wish, and now wishes for something else, to which they will now seek. How incredibly true is this?! (And talk about the anti-Disney!) This idea of happily ever after, and happiness based on a status, possession, or companion is ultimately fleeting. It can never last forever, and we end up right back where we started. As St. Augustine puts it, “Our souls are restless until they rest in you.” Until we start seeking the right things, we will never be fully satisfied.

This was the first deep conversation among the postulants, and I enjoyed it very much. Each person offered a different perspective on the play, and we tackled some tough issues. I’m excited for more of these discussions and know that this is a great group of guys to challenge me.

 
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Posted by on August 23, 2011 in General Reflection

 

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New Photos Page

22 Aug

As you’ll now notice, there is an additional tab on the top right-hand corner of the page called “Photos.” This was the easiest way (thought not terribly efficient) to visually share my experience with everyone. I’ll post new photos periodically after traveling or attending certain events, and will usually mention it in a post so you’ll know when to check it out. Right now, all I have is my room.

 
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Posted by on August 22, 2011 in Announcement

 

A Rush to Slow Down

21 Aug

My "sacred" space

Having completed 24 hours of the Postulancy, I have to say that I’m already exhausted. I imagine the majority of physical fatigue is due to the abrupt change to the sleep cycle, but there is certainly a rush of new information, experiences, relationships, and responsibilities that is not helping either. This is not to be misinterpreted though: I’m very happy so far! I’m pleased with my fellow Postulants, feel incredibly comfortable in my room and in this house, and am enjoying the new lifestyle so far (7:30 morning prayer may be a chore though…)

Rather than trying to recount everything that has happened, I’d like to focus on one concept that I imagine will be quite critical to this year’s formation: learning to slow down in the midst of being very busy. We already know that we will be traveling to New York City, Philadelphia, Cincinnati, Chicago, and St. Bonaventure’s University throughout the year, while also being responsible for taking a spanish class at the community college, working three days a week at an internship site, and taking part in a number of seminars and workshops. There is no doubt that we will be very busy throughout the year. But ministry, we were told last night, was not the purpose of this first year.

Where we begin to be “formed” is in our emphasis on slowing down, and emphasizing our life of prayer and community. For starters, we were asked to approach our bedrooms as sacred space. They are to be kept simple, yet personal, and used exclusively for individual use; rather than using them for fellowship or general space, they should be an intimately private space to retreat, reflect, and recharge (this is not some catchy list they gave us, but just a coincidence that they were the three words I used to describe the space.) It is in conjunction with the communal time and regimented prayer life that we’re asked to slow down our lives, begin to listen more closely, and remove distractions. To aid in this task, each of us were given hardcover notebooks (not the cheap $1.00 spiral ones) as a reminder to journal our experiences, thoughts, concerns, etc. I hope to use this almost every day as a place for raw ideas and unfinished conclusions rather than “well” planned reflections such as these. There is something to be said about a stream of consciousness, writing without a filter and with no regard to organization or aesthetics.

All in all, I am overjoyed with my experience so far, and thankful for all the prayers and messages I’ve received so far. There is simply too much to report at the moment, so I hope you’ll check back soon for more updates!

(Two more pictures can be found here.)

 
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Posted by on August 21, 2011 in Formation, Postulancy

 

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Transitioning to a New Life

20 Aug

I'm ready to accept a new way of life

On the eve of making the trip up to Wilmington and starting my journey into the Franciscan order, I find myself finally grasping the reality of my situation. I’ve known for a while now that I would be entering on this day, but for some reason my life has felt a bit surreal since graduation; while always knowing where I was going, it was just a blur of events and experiences since then. The gravity of the situation did not begin to set in until I started packing, and I imagine will not fully sink in until I have settled in my new home: this is a transition in my life unlike any other til now. In a lot of ways, what I’m doing next is not just the “next step” in my life; it is the acceptance of a new life. Here are a few changes that I’ve been thinking about:

This is not college. Given my age and recent experience at a University, packing a small number of belongings, moving in with people I don’t know, sharing a bathroom, taking classes, and having very little purchasing power comes with a false sense of familiarity. What I will be doing now, though resembling what I did six months ago, is a fundamentally different situation, and requires a fundamentally different approach.

I am not “mature” anymore. For an adolescent or young-adult, being called mature is a great compliment. It means that an individual makes rational choices, relates well with a variety of people, and understands one’s place in development. Essentially, being “mature” means grasping things that are not expected of one’s age. This, I feel, will be where another fundamental change occurs. Though I obviously cannot magically obtain years of life experience and all of the sudden act like an “adult” (whatever that means), the expectation is that “mature” will be the status quo rather than the exception.

My role in evangelization will change. What I mean by this is that I will be perceived differently based on my social status. Sharing my story of struggling with faith and deciding to accept a religious vocation is heard by a group of college students one way when it comes from a peer who plays sports, goes to parties, and is a part of their primary friend group, and a different way when it comes from a first year postulant that does religious things all day, even though it’s the same story. It’s kind of like an adult complimenting a child: if it’s someone else’s child, the adult comes across as unbiased and credible; when it’s their own child, it’s less interesting because any compliment is to be expected. Entering the order is accepting a status are being part of the institution, relinquishing the ability to share from the perspective of an outsider.

There is no doubt that I will encounter many more transitions, and I hope that you will all share in my journey as I face each one. We’re leaving North Carolina at 7 tomorrow, hoping to arrive in the middle of the afternoon. Thanks for all the prayers! Look for a lot of updates in the next few days!

 
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Posted by on August 20, 2011 in General Reflection

 

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Discerning the Priesthood Pt. 2

15 Aug

Am I called to stand in for Jesus as priest?

Whenever I discern a difficult decision, I often think of Moses. When asked by God to go to Egypt, Moses challenges God by saying that they won’t believe him and that he’s not an eloquent speaker. What God is asking of him is outside of his own capabilities, and in opposition to his personal happiness. What does he do? He goes, and God provides for him.

One night I was reflecting with some friends about powerful experiences we had had in our lives. Two came to my mind. The first was in high school performing a skit called “Pushups for Salvation.” I sat in the middle of the 150 people on the retreat as doughnuts were offered to each person individually. If they accepted, I did two pushups; if they declined, I did two pushups. The point was to give a visual representation of Jesus’ pain and sacrifice for everyone, whether or not it was accepted. It was definitely painful (300 pushups in about 20 minutes) and somewhat embarrassing to be watched in such a vulnerable position.

The other story took place during adoration last fall. Without making a connection to the first story, I decided to take a different approach than most: I wanted to share in Jesus’ suffering on the cross by kneeling until the conclusion of the prayer (which usually lasted an hour). In the more than TWO hours that it lasted, I was faced with temptations such as “Why are you doing this,” “You just want to get noticed,” “This isn’t accomplishing anything,” and “You can’t do this,” along with a few more personal doubts. I expected share in Jesus’ physical pain, but never expected to share in his emotional pain as well (or even stopped to think that he experienced any, I guess). What a powerful experience that was.

It was only after telling these two stories out loud that I ever made the connection: I have had my most meaningful experiences taking on the role of Christ, particularly sharing in his suffering. The following day, I was in an adoration praying and listening for some clarity when I looked over and saw a bible, and “Luke 22″ popped into my head. Skeptical of course, I dismissed it, thinking, “The mind generates random bits of information all the time, looking at the bible would trigger things like this for everyone. I can think of 100 passages off the top of my head.” To my surprise, as a religion major, I was left completely blank for 5-10 seconds. Nothing. Not another book of the bible came to my head. Still skeptical, I opened the bible to see what Luke 22 was, “just out of curiosity,” to find that it was the beginning of the Lord’s Passion, where he consecrates the first eucharist and begins his suffering.

What do I make of this? I’m not entirely sure. It’s more than a coincidence that my closest experiences of the divine have been of the same nature, and that this nature is taking on the role of Christ, standing in his place. When I think about the role of the priest, I think of just that: a stand in for Christ, both in sign and reality. Is that what I’m called to be? At this point, I feel like Moses: “There are better people out there; this isn’t a calling, it’s a coincidence; how can someone of such little faith take on the role of JESUS?” As he was, I’m held back by my own fears and shortcomings, but am open to listening to God’s call.

Given all that I’ve said in both posts, I find myself leaning towards ordination. There is no doubt that this will be a common topic on this blog, and I thank you for your prayers as I continue to discern.

 
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Posted by on August 15, 2011 in Discernment

 

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